When You Feel Left Behind

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Yesterday, I got left behind.

My husband and I had been invited to go to the Voice of the Apostles annual conference for one of the services. I was so pumped! We would ride up to Nashville for the day with our pastors and drive home afterwards (super late night). Bill Johnson was going to be speaking and a friend of ours was going to be ordained.  If y’all don’t know what Voice of the Apostles is, just imagine the most awesome time in God you’ve ever had in a corporate setting and multiply it times ten. {wink}

The only problem was we could not find any child care.  I knew it would be pointless to take them (I wouldn’t get to enjoy myself) and no one was available to take care of them for the day/night we would be gone. I quickly realized that there was no way we were going to be able to work it out.  I decided that I would stay home with the kiddos, and I encouraged Byron to ride up with our pastors and enjoy the service.

Seven years ago, this would have been no. fun. at. all. But in the here and now, the kids and I got to enjoy a fantastic day together while Daddy was gone!  It’s all in the perspective, mama.

It’s about letting go of what could be and embracing what’s right here in front of you. It’s about letting go of our own agendas (no matter how spiritual or significant they may seem) to take up His agenda. Of all the things you could be doing right now, loving on and caring for your children is the most vital.

When I first got married, my husband and I were actively involved in our local church and another youth ministry. We spent most the time we weren’t working go to one place or another, and we were having a blast! I loved being a part of what God was doing—and He was doing some amazing things in our midst. God was using both of us, and I was growing spiritually, learning how to minister in new ways.

Little did I know, I was about to learn the most important lesson of my life.

When our daughter Lily was born, we tried taking her with us a lot and sometimes it worked out fine. But other times, it just didn’t.  Byron was a youth pastor with a job to do, and just like he should have he continued to faithfully go and minister.  I began to have to stay behind.  A lot.  While he got to have all the fun. Oh, the unfairness of it all!

I began to feel

  • jealous
  • resentful
  • left out

Have you ever experienced any feelings like this? Have you ever felt like you were getting left behind or left out?

I’ve told various ones of my mama friends that it took me several years to fully embrace my mother role.  I know other moms that it was super easy for, like they were just made for it and already ready when it began.  But not me. I didn’t realize how selfish I was until I became a mom!

Over the course of my years as a mom, God has made my mama-heart grow by leaps and bounds.  Little by little, I let go of what I used to hold onto. And little by little I embraced the truth that He was showing me. That these precious ones, these children that He entrusted to me, they are the most important thing I could ever pour my time into.

A moment of time spent pouring love onto my child is never a moment wasted. An opportunity passed up in order to spend that time with my child is never a wasted opportunity. (Even if the time is spent just feeding, bathing, or wiping noses.)

It’s about letting go of what’s behind, and embracing the new.  The role of a mother is no small feat!  Like Lisa Jo Baker says, “I save lives daily. I’m a mom!”

The most important lesson I ever learned was that this work I do—this non-glamourous raising of children, this everyday messy job—it is so important. And it is my calling.

It took me a while to realize it, but I was not getting left behind. I was never missing out. This road of motherhood was not easy, but it was something amazing. And it was the very thing God wanted from me. It was in the messes and the beautiful chaos of motherhood that I was to find who He had created me to be.  It was there I would find His rest. His grace. The freedom of abandoning myself to His higher purposes.when you feel left behind square quote

Letting go of certain things I used to clutch so tightly to embrace motherhood fully has brought so much freedom and joy to my life. It’s never been a loss. I’ve only gained. And the things that are meant to be a part of me forever, those things God has a way of keeping in my heart. I know He can be trusted to fulfill all His plans for me.

Sure, there are some places I can’t go right now and there are some things I just can’t do. But there is no where I’d rather be than right where I’m at.

So yesterday as my husband went to Nashville, I rejoiced.  I am so glad he went! He was encouraged in the Lord and had a wonderful time in God’s presence with some great people.

And I loved every minute of my day. From my groggy walk to the coffee pot, to the trip to the library, to the ordering of homeschool supplies, to the time I got to spend with my sweet grandmother, I knew heaven was smiling on me.

God is cheering for me in the everyday, and that’s all I need to know. I’m an everyday hero, and so are you!

About the author

Tasha

Tasha Medellin is a head-over-heels-in-love wife and not-so-perfect mother of three who loves spending time outdoors, curling up with a good book, and simply basking in the riches of God's glorious grace.

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